If Idris Elba visits Kenya in my lifetime, even if it is forty years hence, I shall do the honourable thing and make arrangements in advance and have him assassinated. I will not have that man in the same continent with Her. Not that She will run off with him, mind, but only the naive will live with that kind of risk factor. Thank God he is not Barack Obama and does not ride around in armoured cavalcades to challenge the gods of Greek mythology.
I say all this because some asshole is still living in a world where white is right, and Black is wack. This character thinks that Idris Elba is "too street" to play James Bond. Obviously, this white boy feels more than inadequate when he measures himself against Mr Elba, and I must say this is not something that does not give me a measure of glee. He should feel inadequate. He should feel small. He should know that in the field of human endeavour he will never reach the heights that Mr Elba surely will, never mind execrable offerings like Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom. He will now and forever be remembered as the guy who dissed Idris Elba and invited the wrath of the twitterverse.
Despite that full-throated endorsement of Mr Elba, should he choose to endanger himself by setting foot on Kenyan soil while I still draw breath, I believe that even Willy Mutunga's judiciary will agree with me: that is a gross provocation. Murder is totally warranted.
But why this animus? Why is the white is right world living in fear that Mr Elba could play Mr Bond? Isn't fit and proper that iconic characters should be able to be played by the best on the stage? Mr Elba is not your average actor: he is properly good at his job. He can switch between cultures and personas like a chameleon. For sure, fifty years of a white James Bond has created certain deeply held expectations, but come on! it is not as if James Bond is a historical figure. Mr Elba would find it very difficult to portray James Madison. But Bond?
It is in the nature of popular entertainment that an evolution is guaranteed. Fifty years ago, the two most successful blacks in film (in the United States), Hattie McDaniel and Lincoln Perry, were reduced to playing maids and a character named Stepin Fetchit—“The Laziest Man in the World." This guy lives in a world where blacks can never be as polished or as suave as Sean Connery, Roger Moore, George Lazenby, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan or Daniel Craig (yes, I know them all). He must have missed the turn out performanceby Mr Elba in The Wire and Luther. He must be utterly disconsolate that he plays one of the gods in Marvel Universe's Thor series of movies. In his world, gods are white.
Whether Mr Elba ever gets to utter those three iconic words, with the overtheatrical pause, remains for the future to reveal, but let it not be said that he could not be the one to utter them. The world has moved forward. It may not be the post-racial world out here, but on the silver screen, the United States had two serious black presidents before Barack Obama came along, and who among you doesn't believe that Morgan Freeman appeared sufficiently presidential in Deep Impact or Danny Glover in 2012? We will get our black James Bond, Anthony Horowitz. I hope it will be Mr Elba.
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